THE LAST TIME I GOT HIGH

I can remember the last time when I got high. Its been going on 2 years now. I remember sitting in my truck on the side of a downtown St. Louis street, in a really bad neighborhood. I was shaking and sweating, trying to get that hit of heroin into the bottom end of a soda can without spilling it. I was shaking so bad, I could hardly fix up the hit. Then after I got it ready, I remember the search for a vein. I have literally no veins left due to heroin use. I took off my left shoe and sock, looked around for a vein, then removed my right shoe and sock, finally I saw a small vein barely visible enough to hit, but I stuck the needle in and AHHHHHHHH. I remember this last high like I remember the birth of my child. Thats how important that shit was to me at the time. About 6 months earlier, I did a shot in my ankle that caused an abcess. The abcess got infected with staff and I ended up on an operating table. I almost quit then. I went through withdrawls so bad during my 3 day stay at the hospital, but there was nothing I could do about it at the time as I couldn't walk for a couple of weeks. But I still did dope the day I got out. But this time was going to be the last time, and because of a combination of lack of funds and my dealer not having anything worthwhile, I did without- went through the physical withdrawls again and made the decision to just stop!! Hell, I was driving 200 miles a day back and forth to the city, every time I copped a few bucks, I would head downtown for a fix. I stayed high everyday, nonstop for 3 years. I had always done drugs, of one sort or another, but when I started on heroin, it went from a once a week thing, to once a week plus weekends, then to a full blown addict, looking for a fix everyday, all day long. I will be the first one to tell you- that shit gets old!! You don't think about it while your doing it though. You have to stay off it for a week or two, then you realize what a waste it all was. The problem was, staying off it long enough to come to that realization. I for one, am sure glad I saw the light. My sister was nice enough to take me to a pyschiatrist so I could get a prescription of Subutex. I had no health insurance either and that stuff was over $700 for a 30 day script. But it works wonders!! I highly recommend anyone with a heroin problem that wants to quit, to get on Subutex!! Here is a number you can call, and if you don't have a job or health insurance, they will make sure you get it for FREE!! Call this number 866-973-4373. I will talk a little bit more about what Suboxone and Subutex are, and how they work on my next posting. I am an expert of sorts when it comes to Suboxone and Subutex. Stay straight and have a great day!!

ADMITTING YOU HAVE A PROBLEM

So you have finally decided that its time to grow up and stop destroying the only thing that really means anything in this life, and that is your health. You know and I know, that if you keep drinking and drugging, one of two things will happen. The first thing that could happen is you could end up in jail. All you would have to do is get into a car accident while under the influence. Worse yet, someone gets seriously hurt or dies as a result of it. That’s just one example, you get the idea. The other thing that will eventually happen is, you will die. Well you are going to die anyway you may say. Yes, that’s true, however, the quality of life while you’re here, and how long you live are whats important when it comes to that.
If you are like me, you will hit a certain age, it was 49 for me, and something clicks inside your brain and says “ hey man, your not going to live forever!” Sure, everytime I had a “life crisis” I blamed somebody else, then I would sneak away and do the drugs and the alcohol overloads. You must acknowledge your mortality!
My last two binges before I straightened up. were blamed on a divorce (copout ) and then both of my parents died within 3 weeks of each other. What perfect excuses to use, and convince myself that getting high and drunk was the thing to do! That is one thing you will have to learn to overcome.
Rule #1 for self-intervention; Don’t try to mask the issues at hand by indulging in drugs and alcohol. Deal with your problems head on. If you can’t seem to shake the depression and the anxiety of everyday life, then seek professional help if you have to. Tell the doctor whats going on and more than likely he will prescribe some anti-depressant medications that will help you through any rough spots or withdrawl when you decide to stop the nonsense.
Depending on how bad your problem is, and the type of drug you may be addicted to, he may suggest a full blown DeTox!
If you are afraid to check yourself into a rehab center, than at least consider consulting with a close family member or friends that don’t indulge and let them know what you are doing for a little support. If you go straight on your own, you will need a new group of friends for sure.
Admitting to yourself you have a problem and making the decision to straighten up is the first step on the road to drug and alcohol addiction freedom!
Look for weekly updates to this blog. I will be posting real life stories on how I was able to maintain sobriety since deciding to go straight at age 49.
If you need help getting off drugs email me anytime at slowasugo@gmail.com.
I am here to help you get sober and stay sober!!